Monday, 10 October 2011

Five Reasons Why I Will Never Trust Peter Lorre's Character In A Movie Ever Again

 *MAJOR SPOLIER ALERT!*

I have always considered Mr. Peter Lorre as the greatest character actor of all time. There is simply no denying it-THE MAN WAS FABULOUS! Whenever I noted his presence in a film, I always looked forward to his appearance, even if it was only for approximately ten minutes (I'm looking at you, Casablanca!). Okay, so maybe his characters never were the straightest rulers in the pencil case, but they were never entirely horrid-you always knew, deep down, they were alright fellows.



However, after watching one Lorre film (and said film will become known in a few lines time) I fear I may never be able to look at Peter the same way again. Behold, my five reasons why I will never trust Peter Lorre's character in a movie ever again!

1) Anyone who watches Fritz Lang's M and still thinks all Lorre's characters are sound guys seriously needs their sanity and morals thoroughly examined.



2) He peels oranges in the most peculiar way.



3) His voice changes with whichever language he is speaking. I know you may say this is stupid, but think about-you CAN recognise a voice even if the person who belongs to said voice is speaking a different language. But oh no, not with Peter-HIS IS COMPLETELY DIFFERENT! WHAT THE HECK?!



This is him speaking in M. Recognise that voice?! I THINK NOT!

4) His whistling is perfection. I can't trust someone with a perfect whistle.



5) Aren't these reason enough not to trust his characters?!

I'm not saying I don't like Peter Lorre-I still think he's one of the greatest actors ever ever ever...I'm just saying that I'll probably be having nightmares about him over the coming weeks and then after that I'll burst into tears every time he pops up in a film. That is all.

5 comments:

Emm said...

HAHA! Brilliant post Niamhy! (Incidentally, I miss you horribly, but I've been working so much that I haven't quite found the time to drop you a line.)

"His characters never were the straightest rulers in the pencil case..."

Can I steal that?!? PLEASE?!?! It's the most amazingly perfect analogy!

And yeah. I miss you.

Niamhy said...

OMG! EMM, MY EMM! Woah...I feel like a railway child...I'VE MISSED YOU SO MUCH! Come back. Like right now. Damn work. COME BACK. I have stuff to tell you. WE HAVE SO MUCH TO CATCH UP ON.

Hahahaha-thank you! And...hmmm...okay, you have permission to use it...BUT I MUST BE CREDITED.

So the majority of this comment is in caps. BUT I'M JUST SO DARN EXCITED THAT YOU'RE ALIVE! ;-P

Emm said...

HAHA...and then I forgot to subscribe to the comments. BRILLIANT OF ME. :P

Yesterday, I got promoted to customer service at work. I'll be even busier. (Provided I don't stink at the job.)

I'm going to try to write you sometime soon...really, I shall.

Niamhy said...

WELL DONE ON BEING PROMOTED! Though I'm sorry that it means that you will have even less time...but you'll be wonderful at it, I'm sure!

Ooo, please do try! It would be an epic email to end all epic emails! :-P

Shelley said...

He couldn't whistle, Fritz Lang had to do it for him. PL's voice sounds the same when he's ranting at the top of it! :D